It is amazing really, how long we've waited for this. My father always spoke about his cousin, whom my second eldest brother was named for, and how he went missing in the war, but now we've got him home. Tragically lost at such a young age, he will be buried on his birthday, 58 years later.

Or, How My Mom Totaled My Car...

Thank goodness it isn't as serious as it sounds. We live in the part of Texas that is being inundated with rain, lots of rain, buckets of rain. You get the point!
Well, my mom works with me, and she had a doctor's appointment to go to, so she borrowed my car. It was nice, a little cloudy outside, so I wasn't that worried. Then around the time she should have been returning to work, it is raining outside so hard that through the storefront window, it looked like a wall of water, you couldn't see at all. It didn't last any longer than ten minutes, but that was enough. The water stopped and the phone rang. It was my mother telling me she rolled my car.
Fortunately, she was fine. She literally only got a few scratches on her arm from where the driver's side window shattered. Air bags did not deploy, unfortunately, the car itself was totaled.
When I finally got to see my baby, it looked pitiful. The driver's side was flattened from where she hit the concrete barricade. The front two tires were turned in, as if the car was trying to brace herself from the impact of going into the ditch, head on. The driver's side looked like a one of those poor Techron cars had been cartoon punched in the face, the hood was curled in and twisted up, exposing her insides.
Her tires were still fine, her doors and hatchback still worked fine, none of her fluids were leaking, she was just so twisted frame-wise that it would have cost more to fix her than I owed on her, and even after that she probably wouldn't be the same little car I had known and loved.

As for why I called it the longest running April Fool's Joke, well, She bought the thing for me on April 1st, 2004... I guess it's only fitting that she be the one to take it away.